Venting to clear the mind
I just need a place to vent and let out all my feelings. I keep holding them in and I know that’s not good but I don’t want to bother people with my problems because let’s face it everyone has problems and nobody wants to be bothered with other people’s problems because that just shitty.
Anyways, I just wanna say life is hard and no matter how hard I keep pushing along I feel like I’m alone and nobody will ever truly understand me. Don’t get me wrong, I love the people in my life but everything is just too stressful. I waste over 2 hrs of my day in travel time and I have to be up super early everyday. I also forget to eat sometimes being in the rush I am. I’m in class all day and by the time I’m home I have no time to sit down and take a breather. It’s back to doing homework AND taking care of a baby. I do have a wonderful husband who tries to take care of the baby but obviously he can’t take on all the responsibility of taking care of her since he’s been at work all day making money for our family. Even he deserves a break. I do too… I’m frustrated that I can’t even handle all this. I feel like I’m being emotionally unfair by blaming things on joe even though he doesn’t deserve it but at the same time he will never understand the place I’m in. Yeah I’m sure he’s had to give up a a lot in life but so have I. It might not be in the same way but we have both had to make sacrifices in different senses. I just really wish I had someone I can relate to but nobody truly has someone relatable since every situation is different. I don’t want these heavy bearing responsibilities yet I take them on and continue day by day. I function for one purpose only at this point and it to see my child be happy. I love her to death and want what’s best for her unfortunately for me that means not being self satisfied. I feel like I’m no longer the same person I was in the past and by that I mean the happy always willing to do things Shilpa. I just don’t have that option anymore and it makes me really sad that I can’t be myself anymore. Idk who I even Am anymore. All I know is things aren’t gonna get any easier and idk where to go from here. I just really need lots of love and support and nobody telling me to suck it up because if you tell me to suck it up then fuck you. You try living my life and dealing with my stresses.